Mythical Midwife

“Just buy one online

It will only cost pence”

But what you fail to see 

Is the bigger expense

Such a neat business model

Start by making a loss

Then you suck us all in

And eventually gloss

Over the fact you use offshore accounts

Paying minimum wage

When you think about it

We should all be enraged

And your workers out there

Working hard in the swelter

Many earning so little

Forced to live in a shelter

With other poor souls

For whom life’s been unkind

Just a matter of months

To fall so far behind

With your bills and your rent

That you face an eviction

By some well to do Landlord 

Who won’t face conviction

Even if your health suffers

From the mould and the damp

Homes in such short supply

System needs a revamp

So whilst touting is frowned on

Second homes are ok

Landlords take as much money

As we’re willing to pay

Noone dies from not seeing

A hit West End show

But homelessness means some

Will sleep in the snow

And that crap that we’re buying online

Do we need it?

Most will end up in landfill

We all can foresee it

So the next time you tell me

To just click on it

Please don’t be too surprised

When I just lose my shit