Mythical Midwife

We rush to theatre

An emergency

All eyes are on 

The CTG

The midwife must

Remember much

And still be calm

This woman’s crutch

The woman must be

In a gown

Does she have any

Caps or crowns?

What’s her

Obstetric history?

Does she have any

Allergies?

When did she eat?

When did she drink?

Can she sit for a spinal 

Do you think?

And now she needs

A catheter

And does she have 

A cannula?

Did she have pre meds?

Did you take her bloods?

Is she wearing TEDs?

Where’s your hat and gloves?

And now the surgeon 

Wants to scan

So who will sort that?

Why the midwife can

Now reassure Dad

And call the Paed

That’s soon who you’ll

Most likely need

You feel you’ve done ok today

You’ve kept your head through all of that

But the ODP does not agree

You forgot the pillow

You silly pratt