Mythical Midwife

We’re here to speak for women

Help them have the births they crave

Sometimes evidence does not agree

So are they wrong? Or are they brave?

When I first started midwifing

The new buzz word was choice

Every woman would be offered it

Our job? To raise their voice

But this idea had many flaws

On this I did reflect

If you’ve never done a thing before

What on earth can you expect?

And then of course, we can’t ignore

The other person here

Even before they’re born

Some baby’s have their own ideas

You wanted a calm water birth

Cool drinks to quench your thirst

But baby’s messed the plan up now

She’s trying to come feet first

Perhaps her growth is not quite right

Or she doesn’t move enough

Her water bag broke far too soon

Noone warned you of this stuff

And sometimes it’s your body

That has not followed the plan

In these frightening situations

We just do the best we can

Your BP’s high, your liver’s screwed

There’s sugar in your blood

There’s a good chance you might haemorrhage

A scarey bright red flood

We midwives walk a fine tightrope

Try keeping calm for all

The one thing I could really use?

A trusty crystal ball