Mythical Midwife

A Super Special Sisterhood

After all of these years

I thought I’d seen it all

But nothing prepared me

For tonight’s desperate call

It went out on Facebook 

At quarter to eight

It said “please come and help,

We don’t care if you’re late”

“We have 15 inductions 

And 10 natural labours

Please please come if you can

We’re now calling in favours”

We’ve got 8 midwives absent for various reasons

It already feels like the unfestive season

3 are self isolating, a new Covid rule

And two can’t get in ‘cause they haven’t got fuel

My husband says no,

Please stay home here with us

But I could not throw my colleagues 

Under a bus

So I drove in, reluctant,

The moon full of course

Some old midwives believe that 

The moon is the source

Of the magic that triggers a hormonal surge

When women all over feel a sudden keen urge

Like girls who share houses and suddenly find

A brand new connection of body and mind

Their cycles have altered, they’re all now in sync

Just what is it that gives us this magical link?

That same magic is why 

We all answered this call

But soon something will give

Now this order’s too tall

For years now the system has always relied

On the goodwill of people who work hard with pride

But that well of goodwill has now almost run dry

Our vacancy numbers stupendously high

So how are we going to fix this big mess?

When will our leaders accept and confess

We don’t need  jobs with titles I don’t understand

No more bods walking round with a pen in their hand

Forget the tick boxes and lip service fluff

We just need midwives doing the “with woman” stuff